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Sick - Lottery
Two guys were sitting on a porch. One of them won the lottery.
"Man, I wish I didn't win all this money."
"Oh, it's just that these girls I've had sex with all want a cut of the money or they'll put the sex tapes out to the public."
"Man, that sucks."
"I know, but I've learned my lesson: never go to family reunions."