1) You see an abendoned bildink on your street? What you are going to do mit der buildink?

Call der Department from Bildinks
Try to buy it mit kesh in a morgidge
Try to buy it mit food shtemps
Get a krookit insurense broker, klaim its yoors in burn it down
Sell drugs in der bildink

2) Who is der best friend from the Jews in der velt?

Hakudesh Borich Hee
Jordge W Bush
Ehud Olmert
Moishe Hirsch
Mahmoud Ahmedinejad

3) Vus iz geven der werst tink what heppned to der Jewish people?

Churban Bayis Shynee
Der Spenish Inkvizishin
Der Founding fin Americhke
Der Reform Movement
De Foundink fin Yenne Medina

4) Who is the undisputed leader fin Yidden today?

Rav Elyashiv
Der Lubavitcher Rebbe
Rabbynee Na Nach Nachma Nachman Meuman
Ariel Sharon
Moishe Hirsch

5) Ven do we heve der right tzi Eretz Yisroel?

Now with der medina
Azoy vi Moshiach kimt
Ven El Al takes food shtempelach
Ven it bekomes a Pelistinian stete
Never! Ve must prolonk dis Golis!

6) Vifil yohr has everyone in your femily sit in prizzen?

None
Minor time far treffik offenses
5 - 10 yohr
10 - 20 yohr
Myne papa is Sholam Veiss, not to be confused mit Miemi Vice

7) Vus tun dir mit dayn spare time?

I help the sick and aged
I put tefillin on mit freie Yidden
I do a bissel shopliftink
Spare time? I do now hard time
I stend out on der gass and yell Shygetz Aross at passing kars

8) What do you do far parnosse?

I am a kiruv rabbi/rebbetzin or Chabad shaliach/shlucha
I do bizness mit der medina
I sell defektivisher schoire to schvartz yohr
I burn down bildinks far insuranse
I kollekt welfare in food shtemps under more fin one identity
Ich bin in Federal Koilel